Finding Fulfillment in Free Time: Strategies for ADHD Relaxation

An Inquiry into ADHD and Leisure

Many individuals with ADHD, myself included, grapple with the concept of free time and relaxation. Existing literature predominantly focuses on the operational challenges of ADHD, seldom delving into the philosophical and existential dimensions. This leaves a significant gap in understanding how to unwind in the evening when most relaxation activities are inherently low in dopamine, while ADHD minds thrive on high dopamine engagement. This paradox often makes relaxation seem unengaging and even unattainable.

Take socializing, for instance. Many people use hanging out with friends as a way to decompress. However, this can sometimes be just as stimulating as work, leading to a chase for social dopamine that ultimately leaves one feeling drained rather than replenished. The result is often burnout, as the well of energy is never truly replenished. When activities like taking a bath or going for a walk seem boring, how can one effectively recharge?

Lower, calmer experiences that encourage presence and bodily awareness are typically recommended to replenish energy. However, for those of us with ADHD, these activities can be challenging to engage with due to their low dopamine nature. This issue becomes particularly pronounced in the evening, leading to a cycle of chasing dopamine through various activities and ultimately feeling that time has been wasted on meaningless pursuits.

Having encountered this issue frequently with clients, I’ve been developing a language and framework around it, drawing from philosophical perspectives on leisure. Here are some strategies I’ve devised, specifically tailored for those with ADHD:

1. Develop a Grand Vision: Instead of engaging in activities because you feel you should, connect them to a larger, meaningful vision. For example, view fitness not just as a chore but as a way to cultivate a strong mind-muscle connection and explore your relationship with your body. A grand vision creates a series of sub-goals, constantly building something meaningful and integrating it into your life. This approach is particularly relevant for ADHD as it provides a continuous stream of objectives, maintaining engagement and motivation.

2. Find Your ‘Why’: Nietzsche once said, “A man who has a why can bear almost any how.” This concept is crucial for meaningful engagement. Determine why you’re choosing a particular activity over another. The mindless TV watching may fill your dopamine cup but leave your enrichment cup empty. Identify strong, meaningful reasons for your choices, aligning them with your broader vision for life. For ADHD individuals, a compelling ‘why’ can create a sense of purpose and focus, making it easier to stick with less stimulating activities.

3. Pre-Plan Your Relaxation: Anticipation can make an activity feel more meaningful and exciting. By planning your relaxation and free time in advance, you build anticipation and intention. For instance, if you want to see a movie, buy the ticket early and mark it in your schedule. This anticipation enhances the experience and helps bypass the low dopamine analysis that often leads to high dopamine but less fulfilling activities. Pre-planning is especially beneficial for ADHD as it provides structure and reduces the likelihood of impulsively defaulting to high-stimulation activities.

4. Create Breaks Between Obligations: Establishing a buffer between work and relaxation can help regulate your dopamine levels, making it easier to engage in low dopamine activities that genuinely replenish your energy. This break allows for a smoother transition and more deliberate choices in how you spend your free time. For ADHD individuals, these breaks can help in resetting the mind, reducing overstimulation, and improving the quality of subsequent leisure activities.

5. Incorporate Mindfulness Practices: Mindfulness can be a powerful tool to bridge the gap between high and low dopamine activities. Practices like meditation, deep breathing, or mindful walking can help you become more present and attuned to your body and mind. Start with short, manageable sessions and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable. For those with ADHD, mindfulness can help improve focus, reduce anxiety, and create a sense of calm, making it easier to engage in relaxing activities.

6. Engage in Creative Activities: Creative pursuits such as drawing, writing, or playing music can provide a balanced mix of stimulation and relaxation. These activities allow for self-expression and can be both engaging and calming, offering a fulfilling way to spend your free time. ADHD individuals often have a creative streak, and channeling it into artistic endeavors can provide a satisfying and therapeutic outlet.

7. Experiment with Different Hobbies: Exploring new hobbies can help you discover activities that are both engaging and relaxing. Try gardening, cooking, or learning a new language. The novelty can provide the stimulation you need, while the activity itself can be grounding and enriching. For those with ADHD, novelty is a key factor in maintaining interest and preventing boredom.

8. Establish a Relaxation Routine: Consistency can make relaxation more attainable. Create a routine that signals to your brain it’s time to unwind. This could include dimming the lights, playing soothing music, or having a cup of herbal tea. Over time, these cues can help condition your mind to relax more easily. For ADHD individuals, a routine can provide the necessary structure to wind down effectively.

9. Set Boundaries with Technology: Technology can be a significant source of dopamine, often preventing true relaxation. Set boundaries for screen time, especially before bed. Consider using apps or settings that reduce blue light exposure or limit notifications to create a more tranquil environment. For those with ADHD, setting these boundaries can help reduce overstimulation and improve the quality of rest.

10. Seek Professional Guidance: Sometimes, professional help can provide additional strategies and support. Therapists, coaches, or ADHD specialists can offer tailored advice and techniques to help you manage your free time and relaxation more effectively. Professional guidance can offer personalized strategies that address specific challenges faced by individuals with ADHD.

These strategies are still evolving, and there is ample room for further exploration and refinement. The conversation around relaxation and free time in the context of ADHD is crucial and under-discussed. I invite others to share their experiences and strategies. Do you struggle with relaxation? What are your best techniques for making free time truly restorative and meaningful?